~From 'Sunshine' by Atmosphere
Look, I didn't even drink that much last night. I mean, four tiki bars and I only finished half of my drink at each bar: four halves equal two wholes. So, what, two drinks total in six hours? That's nothing, really. If you saw how much my cohorts had, you'd realize how much of a drinking wuss I truly am. But it's 12:45 in the afternoon and I'm wondering what I can do out-of-doors that takes minimal exertion. Is this a hangover? Dammit, if I'm gonna suffer the consequences, I should at least be able to enjoy the actions.
To be honest, I wasn't even sure if I wanted to go last night. No, I actually didn't. I've been running around, on the go with a full schedule for the past few weeks and I really felt overbooked last night. But Meeg was gonna be gone for a while (Hawaii, Seattle and who knows where else) and then she might just move to Boston when she gets back, so to the tiki bars I went.
I've never really had a bad girls' night out and this one was probably one of the best on record. These were some of the cutest, smart-ass, fun-loving girls that I've ever had the pleasure of invading a bar with. I'm so glad I brought my camera. One picture is worth a thousand words and these pictures tell all.
The only downside of the night was when we called Zen and Jack to see if they would be home so we could lock the house down (at about 3:30 am) and they said that they were at the beach. Since the beach is only three blocks away, and I thought they'd have Gretchen (my adopted daughter) with them, I thought I'd drop by to give Gretch a hug, and besides, a nighttime ride is always exhilirating.
Fail. Dan called them back to see which part of the beach they were on and to make sure Gretch was with them. She wasn't, but he was.
What's he doing in my part of town??
True, it's not my town, and he's still friends with Z and J, but dammit, this doesn't help when I'm trying to be as far away from him as I can. Especially when he's on MY beach. I mean, can't they have hung out elsewhere?
Ah well, part of moving on is moving past and I need to move past these feelings of anger, of sadness and mostly of even caring; I need to move past feeling anything and move into feeling nothing.
The opposite of love is not hate, it's apathy.
I want to get to where I don't feel anything at the mention of his name. I'm on my way, but last night caught me off guard. I thought about the times we spent around the beach, for only a moment, but it was enough to make me feel like an idiot. So I got mad, shook most of it off and went to sleep.
I'm just happy to see that the sun's out and it's a new day. I really like my life and eventually, he'll be just another random memory. I'm halfway there. A few more months like the ones I've had recently and I'll be all the way there.
I want some frozen yogurt from Tutti Melon. Gotta go.
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