Envy is the art of counting the other fellow's blessings instead of your own.
~Harold Coffin
There is so much more going on in the world; this stuff seems so trivial. It is trivial and petty, but because I've recently renounced the burden of carrying around negative thoughts, I'm obligated to relinquish the following. This time, I'm purging via my favorite medium, the blog. Surprise!
I have no one to blame but myself, I get it. Even though I only sought out 21 of the 300+ plus friends that I have on facebook, no one said that I had to approve anyone else's friend request. I've hit the approve button over 300 times, so I have to take responsibility for continuing to view all of the posts, comments and other daily fb accoutrement. After all, the button clicks both ways - I can also hide comments, and if necessary, defriend just as easily.
But before I do either of those, I'd like to get this off my chest, and then be done with it.
Maybe some of you out there can relate. Maybe not. Maybe Chunk is dead.
Frenemy (alternately spelled frienemy) is a portmaneau of friend and enemy that can refer to either an enemy disguised as a friend or to a partner who is simultaneously a competitor and rival. The term is used to describe personal, geopolitical, and commercial relationships both among individuals and groups or institutions. The word has appeared in print as early as 1953.
Dear Frenemy,
I'm a little confused. Maybe you can help me clear up a few things.
Why did you friend me?
Why did you check out all my pics and posts?
When and why did you decide that I was your competition?
To be honest, I didn't pay much attention to your posts until it was brought to my attention that you copied a few of my posts, almost verbatim, and then one-upped me in each one. (e.g. , Mine: Walked three miles, then biked six. Felt great!! Yours: Walked four miles, biked, swam and made a killer dinner for my family. Felt better than ever.) If I say I'm baking bread, you say you're thinking of opening a bakery.
One time is a coincidence. Two times is flattering. More? Well...
When facebook changed their format and we all updated our info, I listed my three paid professions. Shortly after, you listed your five, two of which we have in common.
When I posted a new profile pic, you posted a similar pic.
This is just getting creepy.
Imitation is the highest form of flattery, so I should be flattered. But really, I'm starting to feel bad for you.
I've been asked how I remain so positive; what's my secret? A long time ago, I realized that, flaws and all, I really like myself. (It's heartbreaking that so few people can say that.) I stopped waiting for a better form of myself to emerge before I started taking chances, living life, and fully appreciating all that my mind and body do for me every day. And the funny thing was, as soon as I started liking myself, I noticed it became contagious. Then I became more grateful for every moment that I had to be me, and I noticed again that there was more to be grateful for. This wonderful cycle has been in motion since I first learned to like myself. That's my secret: there is no secret.
Do I get sad? Of course. Do I get angry? You bet. Do I realize that it's all just part of the impermanence that we're passing through? Yes.
I may be off the mark, but I'm thinking that you may not like yourself enough to like others unless there's something to be gained, or, you don't really know who you are, and become envious of those who do and act accordingly.
When I approve someone's friend request, it's because I hope to actually become friends. I'm not talking about just an acquaintance with whom I have a passing familiarity, or similar friends, or who I might run into at an event; I'm talking about developing a friendship that involves calling or texting on the phone, or making plans to spend time together. You know, getting to know more about each other's lives.
Making continued excuses for not meeting in person, not showing up to support my posted events, and not, at the very least, leaving a nice comment when I post a pic or status that shows something good going on in my life (i.e. vacations, gigs, happy occurrences) tells me that you have no intentions of actually becoming a friend.
If you're reading this now (and I'm guessing you are), know that I wish you light and love, and most importantly, that, before you friend others and then secretly resent or envy them, you friend yourself first.
